Our Story Chapter 5: Memories and Instincts

Strawberry

The ticking in the back of your head. That certain feeling that you get when you know something, but yet you don’t. That tune that’s in your head but you’re unsure of the lyrics. That word your trying to pronounce and it’s there on the very tip of your tongue and yet you still are unable to say it. That feeling that you’ve been somewhere before. Oh how that feeling pulls at my brain!

A year? Has it truly been that long since I was born? Since something murdered my family. That thing with a loud boom for a roar. That evil beast which took my family. Luckily I have never encountered it again. But yet through it all I have nothing to complain about. My master brought me to his home. He had feed me, cared for me, and loved me. He has almost always been there for me, giving me a home and a collar. And the days that he wasn’t then I had the accompany of Billie. A large German Shepherd who in his life has been loyal to his master.  He was with my master the day that they had found me, and had practically been my father for my life. He was old, and wise, and fun. He would always play games with me and allow me to lay beside him when I was scared at night as a pup. He told me stories and the history of dogs and our masters which he called humans. Yet he always told me that I was not a dog. This made no sense to me. I walked on all fours, I had a snout, I had fur, I had perked ears, what was so different between us. He had to explain to me that I was a wolf, the strongest and most nimble of the canines. He told me that It was my heritage by which dogs had originated. And yet with this great birthright, I only found it a curse. None of the pups could play with me. Their mothers would not allow them to. They would drive them away and scold them, but not before they would give me a look of complete disgust. If I were the reason that dogs like them are walking this earth then why do they despise me like they do. I ask Billie this and he only tells me that the other dogs that the master breeds to use on his hunts, were just… brought up to know that wolves are bad, and that they are to be avoided because they are dangerous. “But I’m not going to hurt them! I only want to play!” I would always say angrily. Which he would always follow it up with a chuckle and tell me, “of course you do,” he would reply. But this answer didn’t feel right. It still didn’t make sense to me exactly. Until this day.

The master had left to attend to another errand of sorts. And he had chained Billie outside that day, because he had managed to sneak into the masters fridge and steal a leftover steak. The master doesn’t appreciate this as I have learned from a personal experience with a few strawberries. Well as I was saying. He had been placed outside and it felt only fair that I not stay in the warmth of the inside and I instead join him. So the master let me out and locked the door behind me. His land consisted of acres and acres and acres of free running space to run and hunt, but there would be none of that today as Billie sits chained to a metal steak nailed in the ground as punishment. I had simply laid beside him and closed my eyes and this was all I needed until the moment I yawned and a shrill wind swept through my throat and took away all moisture from it. I could not even wet my lips, it was all dry as a bone, so I stood and walked to a stream a good distance away from the reach of Billie’s chain. I looked down into the crystal clear water and saw my reflection. When I looked at myself and see my beautiful pattern that has only brightened in shade as the days had gone on. I was beautiful, I hate to be self-absorbed but I truly was. But as I looked at myself I see as my pattern disappears and my blacks and browns disappear leaving my fur feel naked under the sun as a white coated wolf with pink eyes looks up at me. She was beautiful as I was.  And something about her made my head hurt and I am puzzled by her.

“What’s the bitch doing here?”  I heard and I look back up from the reflection and turn my head to see my antagonist. It was Lassie. A husky mix of some sort. She was very lovely as well with a great pattern of silvers and whites and a strange sort of mask upon her face. She was what you might say the prized gem of the master. (Besides me of course) And not only to the master but the dogs as well. During the winter months when mating was at its prime she came out without a male. Rumors all say different reasons. Some say the reason was that she felt that she was too good for any of the other males that the master owned. I personally believe that the reason was that she did not want to be held down by a mate, and if she was to choose one then she could no longer be admired by them all. It was so foolish. She was the only dog that had truly ever socialized with me and that was only for one reason. To anger or hurt me, yet I have always managed to keep my cool as Billie had taught me. Well today not only was it her but to other females whose names have slipped my mind for the moment, one was a husky as well, but the other was a Australian shepherd. Quite the strange team of dogs, but they likely just feel themselves superior and thus are perfect for each other’s company. These were the type of dogs that I wish the master would pay more attention to and maybe he would see them as they truly are, snakes. “I was just getting a drink of water. It’s not like I was stepping on your tails. And by the way that whole “bitch” thing doesn’t really affect me much, because we’re all female. So I’d get a new word. Because it only makes you sound stupider.” I snap back as I turn back around to lap up some more water. I hear as one of Lassie growls and jumps into the water in front of me, drenching my face. I yelp as this surprises me and I get water in my eyes. “How dare you talk to me like that! Nobody talks to me like that!” I hear her say and when I manage to shake my head and remove the water from my eyes; I am met by an even larger shock. My eyes peak back open and the first thing I see is her paw sweeping past my face and in the wake of her claws was long sharp marks on my face. I yelp and my paw shoots to my face. I then pull it away looking at my now red paw. I quickly turned and ran away from her as fast as I possibly could. Running to Billie. “Get her! Don’t let her reach the old dog.” I heard her call to her followers. Billie perks his ears up as he hears this and he opens his eyes to see me running at him. He then sees the blood running down my face and the other females running close on my haunches. He cheered for me to hurry as fast as I possibly could and reach him before they could me. That didn’t happen.

The Australian shepherd tackles me to the ground, and the husky stops her running as well to help and hold me down. Billie stands at the edge of his leash barking angrily at the other females as they attacked me, seeing him practically strangling himself against the collar. I struggle wildly and try to move but even with my greater strength it still can’t match the weight of the two combined females. Lassie stands over me like an angry god and smiles with pearly beautiful teeth that would likely soon be stained red. I thrash about trying to escape my attackers. But the signs of them letting up seemed none. She stood stares down at me in a display of dominance and I lay my ears back, hoping that if I showed that I am lesser than she then maybe I can be let go. She showed no such signs of doing this. he only smiled in her knowing of victory. and if she had simply left it where it had been then she could have ended it. She could have killed me and no longer would she of had to deal with me or my wolf like ways anymore. But her beauty and her intelligence and every other attribute she felt was superior to me could not allow her to have left it there. She simply had to take it that extra mile in order to snap that last thread that I held on to. But instead of doing this it only sewed my remaining threads into something strong, and wild. She opened up her tooth filled maw and spoke the words so simply that they had no meaning to her but they burned me terribly on the inside. “Now you’ll be with your putrid family you filthy wolf.” She laughed at me. My heart caught flame, turning every fiber of muscle into a force to be reckoned with and I would have sworn that my pink eyes were instead a burning red.

It was all so blurry. After that. An extreme series of yelps and screams and red blood. And when I did come to what I saw horrified me. The other dogs ran, yelping in fear of something. Except for one. Lassie laid on the ground. Cut, bleeding, and motionless. A wretched cut in her throat being her despise as her silver fur stains red in the puddle of blood. I look over to Billie. I’m still suffering from shock as it all comes to one single thought. He looked back at me, with nothing more than that feared look that I gave the dog mothers when I desired to play with their pups. “Billie. Did? Did? Did I? Do this?” He just looked at me without changing his facial expression at all. He only nodded. I start o have tears well up in my eyes and I run to the creek. I look into the water and pray to God that the pink eyed female with white fur will look back up at me from my reflection. She did not. She was not there to comfort me or puzzle my mind on who she was. No. Instead all that looked back at me was my own reflection. My white fur with black and brown markings. With the pink streamers running up and down my body. And the pink eyes as usual, but. There is something new in my complexion. Three red marks across my jaw, and around my mouth. Was the gruesome image of putrid red blood surrounding my jaw and covering my muzzle. I wasn’t a defenseless little girl anymore. I was no longer a dog that belonged to the master. I was a killer. A murderer. I now truly knew what it meant to be a wolf.