Only a game

I layed there broken and bloody in the icy cold snow wondering what the heck had brought me to where I am now. My gray fur was hard to make out as the crimson stream runs over me. My paws were sore from the constant running. Running from myself. My thoughts and feelings, as if I could outrun them. I should have guessed that they would eventually catch up to me one day. After all, this life I’m living is only a game and I couldn’t break the rules. No matter how hard I tried life can’t be won. It’s not like a simple game of tag. You couldn’t get too good at it to where the minute you became “it” you could just tag back. There was no getting better at life. Even though you could not break the rules, life could. Life was a bad cheater.  The very second you believed the odds were in your favor, was the second life flips the table on you. And it only grows with age. As you get older some of the things you originally believed to be bumps in the road where now craters in your path. As a child I never would have guessed that taking care of myself was going to be a problem. I thought all I had to do was become top dog. Become alpha and thus letting my troubles melt away with luxury and command over the other wolves of the pack. Ha, funny. Thats the very thing that got me into this whole mess. I challenged our alpha. We fought, I slashed with both fang and claw but yet he prevailed with both fang and claw. He had torn ferociously at my back, sides, and chest. Even leaving a bloody cut down my face. Yet what rose him to victory was what brought me down to death. He had clasped his teeth upon my throat and  lacerated it with ease. “Leave!” He told me as I had slowly begun lifting myself up. The liquid that flowed through my veins splattered on the white ground. A gruesome slushy. I had to leave. I had lost. I hadn’t just lost my place in my pack but, also my dignity as one of them. I felt lost, I wasn’t supposed to lose! I was supposed to come out on top. I was supposed to banish him. It all led up to where I was now. I look up at the glowing white aurora of the moon. Lifes game had finally ended. It had laid its hand on the table as soon as I had put it “all in”.  I closed my eyes and feel myself slip away. It was game over. Lifes game had ended and I..? I... had... Lost.